Saturday, December 31, 2011

Almost dead

There are advantages and disadvantages to be back in your hometown.  God took me way down to Alabama where during a college outreach, I heard about the holiness and love Jesus has for me.  I surrender my life to service to the King.

Now, I live back in the area of my childhood knavery and roguishness.  Most of the times, I eagerly look forward to share what the Lord has done.  Sadly, other times, I want to hide.  My Master has gently reminded me that I am a new creation and the freedom from insecurity is a choice.

Surprisingly, I ran into a woman who was like a mother to me during my life when I had no mom.  (divorce etc.)  We were both looking for each other and was able to reconnect after 6+years over lunch yesterday.  She retold me a story that I have no remembrance of when I was in high school.

She remembers that on one occasion I was angry and rejected so I broke into her house and was in a state of hopelessness that I told her I would go home and kill myself.  She noticed that this was not just a threat but a real possibility.  So, she asked me to promise that I would not do any harm to my body for the night, and wrote out a contract that I signed.  She kept the letter. Shocked,  I looked at her across the restaurant and had the overwhelming feeling of thankfulness. Not only did the images of my children, and life flash before my eyes what she had saved by keeping me to a promise. But, also that she cared enough for me at a point of desperation.  Tears easily run down my face, as I am so thankful for her act of love to someone who was hopeless.

It is good to be home.  I want to be that kind of godly woman to the hurting and hopeless.