I am like a King

Okay, this is not a bragging session.  Preparing for tonights Pioneer girls class as we are going through The Story, I was fortunate to read about Esther.  I love Esther.  One of my favorite moments from Africa was the Beth Moore Esther Study.

However, this was not a lesson learned way back in Africa, this is a current lesson that God used an Old Story to teach me about anger.

I looked at Esther 1:12 when King Xerxes burns with anger.  He is furious.  Yes, he is a big high on alcohol, but his real reason is that he was not being obeyed immediately.  Looking at his perspective, he totally came unglued for a walk.

This week lesson was on perspectives, I too get so furious about little things.  After logging a reaction journal, most of my "issues" were on trivia matters.  I like King Xerxes burn with anger over little things.  Yes, he was going to look bad in front of his peers.  But, I too can do that.  If it is regarding how my house will look.  What others might think of me?  So, I bark orders and fume at the kids when my expectations or chores aren't done right.  Ouch.  Sorry God.

Thankfully, I don't have idiot advisors to tell me to get rid of my kids.  But, I do have a kind God that reminds me priorities and the heavenly perspective.

Look at me!

Wow!  I really can't believe how very personal and practical an old story in the Old Testament could be for me today.  As I was praying about what applications I should share with the Pathfinder Girls tonight for Pioneer Club at our church, God pointed out a huge sin in my life.

LOOK AT ME!

Tonight I am teaching about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and the Fiery furnace.  In the past, I have learned tons of walking with faith and trusting God no matter what.   However,  today was a different application of a sin that keeps creeping up in my life.  ME.

It was revealed when I imagined the entire 90 foot tall structure being built in the middle of Persia to have EVERYONE noteworthy come and bow down.  This arrogant king went so far as to make a huge statue and demanded worship/acknowledgement.  If he lived in 2014, he would demanded a "like" and a "share" status on Facebook.

Interesting, as I was reading facebook in the past year, often I don't rejoice for others "good things".  Ugh.  I wanted to be happy for people.  I easily cry when others are hurting, but I never had the same "enthusiasm" for rejoicing in others good.  "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15.

No, there is not a new statue made for Ella in Palmer by the Train depot.  But, in my heart I LONG for people to notice ME, or my kids.  Notice the good I do, give me praise.  Not that being kind and gentle is bad things, but I want praise.  Yes, I can add a phrase "to God be the glory" but in my heart the performance drug is never satisfied.

Just some clarification, most things, I have no problem doing for God's glory. But, even a hint of arrogance or pride or why don't I get praise is the big prIde. (with the big I in the middle me).

Thankfully, God accepts my confession and He already paid for the sin 2000 years ago.  Thank you for getting me in that sweet relationship and speaking softly to bring me to repentance.  I want to have Your standards for life.  God Chisel me-to be like You.